Marital Bliss

By Sonya Garcia

            There is an epidemic sweeping through the Christian society and its called sexual immorality.  (1 Corin. 6:18-20 “Flee from sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”) For many single adults sex is a part of our past…a part of our history.  But how many know that just because it is a part of your past, it doesn’t mean it has to be a part of your future.  But the big question is how do you deal with those intimate feelings when they arise? Because let’s face it, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.

            One of the first things I would recommend is to not set yourself up for failure.  Never allow yourself to be in a situation that would make it easy for you to give in to temptation.  Make sure that the two of you are never alone together.  Go out to the movies instead of staying in.  Eat dinner out instead of staying in.  If you do stay home to do something together, invite someone else along that can hold you accountable.  If kissing causes certain ‘feelings’ to arise that cause you to lose focus on the prize, then don’t kiss.  Know what your weaknesses are and avoid them.  Because believe me, the devil knows what your weakness are and will use them against you with any opportunity he gets.

            It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your past. When you repent, God forgives and forgets.  The Webster’s Dictionary gives the definition of forget as to be unable to remember.  Praise God! When you repent, God forgives and can no longer remember that sin!  Now that doesn’t mean we can take advantage of His grace by continuing to do the same sinful act thinking we can just ask for forgiveness again and again.  To repent is to turn from the sinful act and do it no more.  Webster’s Dictionary defines repent as to feel such regret over an action as to change one’s mind.  So many Christians today make the excuse that God’s grace cancels out their sin.  Let me set the record straight.  God will not continue to extent His grace to you over something that you intentionally do over and over when you know that it’s wrong.  It’s a heart thing. As long as your heart is aimed at pleasing God, the rest will fall into place.

            Now, saving yourself for your future spouse does not mean the engagement ring. It means the wedding night after the minister declares you to be a married couple.  I have seen so many times when a couple talks about the possibility of marriage, the excitement that this could be the ‘one’ kicks in and they let their guard down allowing themselves to go to that place of no return.  This is the greatest mistake that we could possibly make in this area of our lives.  The soul-tie kicks in and lust begins to cloud our judgement as God breathes a sigh of disappointment.  And then more times than not, the relationship ends badly with no wedding bells.  Now there is a ripping of the souls.  God did not design us to be able to break soul-ties.  (Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”) NKJV That is why it is so hard to end a relationship with someone you have a soul-tie with. 

            It is important for us to look at the situation beyond the surface.  Try and think about what the future may bring.  If you can trust each other not to compromise the marriage bed before you are married, then it will be much easier to trust each other with situations that arise after you are married.

            I’m not saying this is easy. It’s not…especially if you have had some kind of sexual relations in the past. The devil will use those experiences to bring up memories and feelings that can cause you to fall.  But don’t give up hope! Set yourself up for success.  Try and stay focused on God and His will for your life.  If unpure thoughts arise, rebuke them out loud.  Look up scripture on sexual immorality.  Memorize them or write them on an index card to keep handy for when thoughts do arise.  Your God ordained future spouse will thank you and have more respect for you in the long run.  And imagine the bliss on your wedding night that will come from pleasing God and saving that act of worship for His perfect timing!

            My prayer for all of you is that God will strengthen you, as you grow closer in your walk with Him, living holy and acceptable in His sight. For who the Son sets free is free indeed! (John 8:36)  So be free and live life victoriously!

 Sonya Garcia

Sonya is a single mother of two wonderful children, Dominic Lohry 18 and Ciera Garcia 7. Sonya is making her debut in the author world by writing up lifting articles along with her first book "From Pain to Glory" that should be hitting book stores by the end of 2010. She is active at her church by leading the Singles Ministry, helping the Hospitality Department by writing encouraging letters to church members as well as an active student at Fellowship Bible Institute.